Behaviour Management and Safe Caring

It is recognised that working with traumatised children can be extremely challenging however within the home it is essential staff respond to behaviours with an approach which believes and validates a child’s experience and being tolerant of the child’s affect.

Traumatized children are often used to being punished and for reasons they cannot understand. Many times, they will have been punished and treated harshly, in an arbitrary fashion based on the mood of the adult rather than on the child’s behaviour. For children who are traumatised and who have hyper-aroused stress response systems, punishments are often likely to make matters worse. By increasing stress levels and re-enforcing a negative view of the world as a hostile and unforgiving place. 

Carers should be clear and firm about their expectations of the child’s behaviour, but within that, the child needs space to work things out for themselves. Carers who are warm and provide clear and consistent expectations for children’s behaviour via pro-social role modelling play a crucial role in showing the child morally responsible behaviour.

Many traumatised children believe that the mistakes they make, or their negative behaviour has catastrophic and long-lasting consequences. They have learnt this through experience. A small misdemeanour may have resulted in a severely punitive or abusive response from a caregiver. In some cases, difficult behaviour may have been followed by a major change such as being taken into care or over chastisement. The child often believes he or she is ‘bad’ and responsible for whatever happens. 

Carers will have clear expectations about what behaviour is acceptable and what is not and will endeavour to help a child with a reparation type approach wherever required which provides opportunity of a vital developmental experience of contributing and making a situation better.

Carers recognise the capacity to make reparation rather than be punished also requires that the child has a degree of empathy and concern for others. For children who are so emotionally underdeveloped, it may take considerable time before they can do this. 

Traumatised children are familiar with being punished, humiliated, and hurt. Punishing such a child is likely to trigger memories of these experiences, causing them to feel angry and resentful towards whoever is punishing him and as such the Staff in the Haven are committed to adopting a non-judgemental approach. 

Children in care will be helped to understand that there can be positive and negative consequences of their behaviour. They will be supported in understanding the positive consequences of their behaviour, as much, if not more than the negative consequences. This is because traumatised children know only too well that they can do hurtful and destructive things, but they often have no idea that they can do things which give pleasure and make others feel good. They often feel that they are insignificant to others and the only way they can have an impact and be of any significance is by being challenging. It is vitally important for staff to help children feel the intrinsic value in relationships.

Natural consequences provide an opportunity for children to understand something about the negative consequences of their behaviour and to do something, if possible, to put it right. The more natural or ‘logical’ the consequence is to the behaviour the more likely it is to make sense to the child. For example, if the child has damaged something in the home, helping to fix it is more relevant than having to go to bed early. Helping to fix something that has been broken can be understood as a natural consequence.

Consequences rather than punishment can be seen as a form of discipline, showing and teaching children how to behave, by providing a climate of mutual respect, where problems are seen as opportunities for learning and growth. Children are supported to learn from their mistakes through natural and logical consequences and self-discipline is more likely.

Residential and foster care aim to provide a nurturing environment which underpins empathic responses from carers. Offering nurture in a timely manner can de-escalate a challenging situation.

Carers adopt a PACE approach (Playful, Accepting, Curious and Empathetic) to working with children accommodated in the Haven which integrates playfulness, acceptance, curiosity and empathy into practice with the aim of building a child’s sense of trust and safety. This approach is helpful in de-escalating challenging situations.

All carers/residential staff should have a safe caring policy for their own household. This should be explained to children, with the reasons for the rules and they should also know that that there are rules for everyone. They should not feel that they are being treated with less regard than other members of the household. Ideally these expectations should be known to children before they are placed.

1. No smoking;
2. Keep own bedroom clean and tidy;
3. Do not go into any other bedroom;
4. Be dressed all the time;
5. If you have gone out, return home at the time your carer has said;
6. Always be where you say you will;
7. If you want to change your plans when you are out ask permission from your carer first;
8. Do not hurt any member of your foster family or residential staff;
9. Do not hurt any pet of the foster family;
10. Homework must be done;
11. If you have been excluded from school, school work will be done at home;
12. When you use the bathroom or toilet always close the door;
13. If you have any problems try and talk to your carer/residential staff;

Try to consider other people's feelings.

The purpose of adopting a therapeutic response to behaviour using a natural consequence-based approach is to support children in linking cause and effect with regards to their behaviour. This approach can help them understand that everyone makes mistakes and we can learn from these over time and make better choices in the future. The priority aim is for staff to maintain a positive connection to ensure their relationship with a child is protected and supported. Developmentally traumatised children need to feel safe and supported in order to effect optimum chances for unwanted high-risk behaviours to reduce. 

Responses to behaviour wherever possible are required to be natural consequence-based therapeutic responses that are realistic and proportionate and clearly promote the positive behaviours sought from a child in order to be meaningful. Children should also be encouraged to participate in decision-making with regard to the range of consequence-based responses that are used within the home.

Rather than noticing and sanctioning misbehaviour it is always better to notice and reward good behaviour. For example, it may be more effective to allow a child to have use of a video or TV at bedtime for getting up on time; rather than taking the TV away for getting up late. The former is discouraging and causes resentment; the latter is encouraging, can improve self-esteem and relationships between children and staff.

Boundaries are usually breached through immaturity, impulsivity and the lack of cause-and-effect thinking. When a boundary is broken, it is a natural consequence that should follow to let the child know they have made a bad choice. We must make sure that we explain to the child what is happening and instill the natural consequence with nurture, so the child knows it was the choice that was bad and not they are bad. It is sometimes too tempting to over punish a child through 'logical consequences' or a misinterpretation of natural consequences. The natural consequence of a child going out without a coat on is that the child gets cold and possibly wet if it rains. We need to voice the natural consequence and explain to them that if they go out without their coat this will happen. Once it happens, we might offer them some nurturing and warmth and suggest ways to stop this happening again.

Non-Approved Sanctions

The following sanctions are non-approved, which means they may never be imposed upon children:

• Any form of corporal punishment; i.e. any intentional application of force as punishment, including slapping, punching, rough handling and throwing objects;
• Any sanction relating to the consumption or deprivation of food or drink;
• Any restriction on a child's contact with his or her parents, relatives or friends; visits to the child by his or her parents, relatives or friends; a child's communications with any of the persons listed below*; or his or her access to any telephone helpline providing counselling or advice for children. N.B. This does not prevent contact or communication being restricted in exceptional circumstances, where it is necessary to do so to protect the child;
• Any requirement that a child wear distinctive or inappropriate clothes;
• The use or withholding of medication or medical or dental treatment;
• The intentional deprivation of sleep;
• The modification of a child's behaviour through bribery or the use of threats;
• Any sanction used intentionally or unintentionally which may humiliate a child or could cause them to be ridiculed;
• The imposition of any fine or financial penalty, other than a requirement for the payment of a reasonable sum by way of reparation. N.B. the Court may impose fines upon children which staff should encourage and support them to repay;
• Any intimate physical examination of a child;
• The withholding of aids/equipment needed by a disabled child;
• Any measure which involves a child in the imposition of any measure against any other child; or the sanction of a group of children for the behaviour of an individual child;
• Swearing at or the use of foul, demeaning or humiliating language or measures.

 *The persons with whom the child may have contact are:

• Any social worker for the time being assigned to the child by his or her placing authority;
• An Independent Visitor if appointed;
• The Independent Homes Inspector;
• The child's Independent Reviewing Officer;
• Family Proceedings Advisor and or Advocate.

It is also not helpful to use unrelated sanctions that are not natural consequences of the child's behaviour such as grounding, early bedtimes, removal of privileges or belongings and additional chores. These are punishments and do not provide opportunities for a restorative approach or for learning to take place and can instead breed resentment.

Approved Therapeutic Responses

The following are examples of appropriate responses to behaviour but is by no means a complete list and staff should be creative in formulating relevant and appropriate responses:

• A pocket money contribution towards the replacement of a repair or damaged item. Contributions of no more than a third weekly allowance should be withheld and payment contributions must not take longer than a three week period;
• Natural consequences involving 'restorative approaches' which provide an opportunity for a child to help put a situation 'right'. An example of a restorative approach would be if a child causes damage in the property or steals property, they are then encouraged to help a member of staff clear up the damage or return the property once calm. Another example would be if a child has been verbally aggressive to staff the night before, they sit down with the staff member and a third party who could allow each side of the story to be heard and validated and for repair to occur or apologies to made if appropriate. These type of approaches can be more meaningful in helping children build empathy for others and give the child the opportunity to show they are sorry;
• Natural consequences which promote social learning opportunities. For example, if a child stays out late, staff may tell them that they are too tired from being up late waiting for them to be able to drive them anywhere that day or do things they would like done for them in a timely manner;
• Removal of a telephone or mobile phone in order to protect a child or another person from harm, injury or to protect property from being damaged;
• Restriction on sending or receiving letters or other correspondence (including the use of electronic or internet correspondence) in order to protect a child or another person from harm, injury or to protect others.

Recording of Therapeutic Responses

If a child receives a therapeutic response it should be recorded by the carers on the therapeutic responses record and placed on their electronic file.

Carers/residential staff are not permitted to conduct body searches, searches of clothing worn by children or of their bedrooms.

Should carers suspect that a child is carrying or has concealed an item which may place the child or another person at risk, they should try to obtain the item by co-operation/negotiation.

If carers/staff suspect that a child is concealing an item which may place themselves or another person at risk, they must notify the agency or, in an emergency, the Police.

In the event of any serious incident (e.g. accident, violence or assault, damage to property), carers/residential staff should take what actions they deem to be necessary to protect children/themselves from immediate harm or injury; and then notify senior management immediately.

If there is a risk of serious injury/harm, carers/residential staff should not use any form or Physical Intervention except as a last resort to prevent themselves or others from being injured or to prevent serious damage to property. If any form of Physical Intervention is used, it must be the least intrusive necessary to protect the child, carer(s)/residential staff or others.

At no time should carer(s) residential staff act unless they are confident of managing the situation safely, without escalation or further injury.

The carers/residential staff should endeavour to deal with as many of the challenges that are involved in caring for children without recourse to the involvement of the Police, who should only be involved in two circumstances;

• An emergency necessitating their immediate involvement to protect the child or others;
• Following discussion with the child's social worker and/or relevant senior manager from the local authority.

If any serious incident occurs or the Police are called, the child's social worker must be notified without delay and will then notify the relevant senior manager within Children & Family Community Services and arrange for a full report to be made of the incident and actions taken.